Transitions: Whatever in the world next…

Yes! You can be zen master during those witching hours…
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I attempted to write this blog post a few months back and abandoned it part way through as it ended up being too long. Fast forward to the current world events and the idea for this post seems more pertinent than ever. I have been immersed in the world of full time parenting – and I mean FULL time – including home-schooling – and it has definitely been a sharp reminder of how useful thinking about transitions can be.

My aim for this post is to help you think about a few key ways to fend off some of the meltdowns that our little people are prone to. I know from personal experience that during unsettled times, these meltdowns can be quite regular, and we’re often left thinking our kiddos are trying to send us round the bend!  But alas! I think there are a few tricks that you can add in to your existing armoury to keep things ticking along.

So, getting to it… and reflecting on my previous attempt I will break this blog into a few parts. In part 1, I will explain what I mean by the term transition. Part 2 will focus on some gems that I often vouch for and rely on myself then will reflect. Part 3 (oh my goodness – yes really part 3!) will be some troubleshooting – because let’s face it – this is real life and stuff like this rarely works straight out of the tin!

The idea of transitions is one that I really think is a key concept in parenting children of all ages. In fact, I’d argue that it’s a key concept for life in general. Transitions – in the sense I am referring to, means shifting from one state or situation to another. This can be the smaller minute to minute shifts that happen hundreds of times throughout a day, or the so-called bigger shifts and changes that happen in our lives and may occur on a less frequent basis.

When it comes to our children, transitions have a huge impact on whether we have a cool, calm and collected little human in our midst or an actual replication of the exorcist, complete with screaming, eye rolling and some excessive bodily movements. One thing that I’ve been struck by within my own experience of parenting and working with countless children in various settings, is the amount of demand that these shifts place upon a child.

I’ll explain a little more…

To go from one activity to another, such as ending a play session to sitting down for a snack/meal, there are a lot of steps involved. This may include a shift in attention (child has to break their focus on the game/toy, listen to our words and “process” the meaning), a change in emotional state (perhaps going from excitement to calm), a re-organisation of thoughts (pause thinking about their next steps in the game/play to what they need to do in order to sit down at a table and eat food, e.g. put game/toys away and wash hands)  and shifts in sensory processing (move from sitting to standing, changes in sounds, volume and lighting)  to name a few.

All this, places a degree of demand on the child and our expectations of them can be out of sync with what it actually takes to successfully shift (“transition”) to the next thing. Often, without realising, we make many, many, many of these requests/demands upon a child(ren) throughout a day. Our expectations generally being that they will listen to our directions/instructions and follow without too much fuss.

There are various factors that determine how adaptable children are to learning how to manage transitions, both small and big. Similarly, our temperaments, personalities and parenting approaches will also play a factor in how these transitions are navigated.

In my next post I will offer a couple of ideas that I personally find invaluable, when trying to steer my kiddos through the maze of a day and other bigger changes that get thrown at them on a regular basis. In the meantime, I’ll leave you with the teaser… “Now, Next, Then…” stay tuned !